ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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