if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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