She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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