Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
