Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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