I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
