we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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