3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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