my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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