Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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