I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Vodka?
Forever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
