I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
