also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
