If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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