I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
