He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
