I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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