we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
