so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
