so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
