the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
