I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
