Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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