I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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