We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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