Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
