in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
