There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
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Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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