I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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