ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
