i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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