so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
