I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.