The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
