i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
