One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
