Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
