brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize