i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
where does the pee come out of this thing
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
