are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
