Can i not drive my cunt home
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
