She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize