I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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