Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
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i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
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Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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