I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
