And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
