It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
