Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
