thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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