so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she peed on how many people?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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