I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry about my life...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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