watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize