a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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