Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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