I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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