I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
