love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
