I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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